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income of four cafes in new york

income of four cafes in new york KGbdw
The graph tells us the income of four cafes in New York over the last year namely, the tea room, internet express, Wi-Fi café and café cool. Overall the income of the Wi-Fi café increased at the end of the year when the income of the tea room decreased. The tea room had the highest at the beginning of the year, with its number achieving by 160 As for the internet express, its income decreased constantly in the first half-year, and then it experienced a rapid increase in the second half year to about 135 dollars. By contrast, the internet express, Wi-Fi café and café cool had low incomes in January experienced sharp increase over the year and took their standard ad the top three cafés with an extensive profit. Moreover, from August until December, internet express café and café cool meet with constant rises in the earning breakthrough by under to 100 to below 140and less than 60 until 120. In the intervening time, the revenue of WIFI café lightly decreased to around 60, and then bounced up to 180
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us the
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income
of four
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
in New York over the last
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year
namely
, the tea room, internet
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express
, Wi-Fi café and café cool.
Overall
the
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income
of the Wi-Fi café increased at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
when the
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income
of the tea room decreased.

The tea room had the highest at the beginning of the
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year
, with its number achieving by 160 As for the internet
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express
, its
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income
decreased
constantly
in the
first
half-year, and then it experienced a rapid increase in the second half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to about 135 dollars.

By contrast, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
express
, Wi-Fi café and café cool had low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incomes
in January experienced sharp increase over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and took their standard ad the top three cafés with an extensive profit.
Moreover
, from August until December, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
express
café and café cool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with constant rises in the earning breakthrough by under to 100 to below 140and less than 60 until 120. In the intervening time, the revenue of
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
WIFI
café
lightly
decreased to around 60, and then bounced up to 180

IELTS academic income of four cafes in new york

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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