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The graph illustrates the number of cellphones sold globally by SamSung, Apple, ZTE and Nokia in a period of 4 years from 2009 to 2013.

The graph illustrates the number of cellphones sold globally by SamSung, Apple, ZTE and Nokia in a period of 4 years from 2009 to 2013. mbGmK
The graph illustrates the number of cellphones sold globally by SamSung, Apple, ZTE and Nokia in a period of 4 years from 2009 to 2013. Overall, it can be easily seen that a significant rise was recorded in SamSung and Apple, while Nokia and LG dropped rapidly. In addition, the number of phones sold by ZTE rose unremarkably. In 2009, Nokia was taking the lead as the most popular phone brand with nearly 450 million mobile phones sold. This was followed by SamSung, LG, ZTE and Apple, at 220 million, 110 million, 40 million and 14 million respectively. The year 2011 witnessed a slight drop from Nokia from 450 million to 420 million, as well as LG from 110 million to 90 million. SamSung and Apple experienced a dramatic rise from 220 million to 450 million(SamSung) and from 14 million to 130 million(Apple) in 2013, which opened a new era of smart phones. On the other hand, Nokia dropped sharply to only 230 million sales in the period of 2 years from 2011 to 2013. In addition ZTE did not change much since they only sold 40 millions which was equal to their sales in 2011.
The graph illustrates the number of cellphones sold globally by
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SamSung
,
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Apple
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
and Nokia in a period of 4 years from 2009 to 2013.

Overall
, it can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that a significant rise
was recorded
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
SamSung
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
, while Nokia and LG dropped
rapidly
.
In addition
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
sold by
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
rose
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unremarkably
.

In 2009, Nokia was taking the lead as the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
brand with
nearly
450
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
sold. This
was followed
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
SamSung
, LG,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
and
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Apple
, at 220
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million
, 110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
respectively
. The year 2011 witnessed a slight drop from Nokia from 450
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million
to 420
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
,
as well
as LG from 110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to 90 million.

Possible spelling mistake found.
SamSung
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Apple
experienced a dramatic rise from 220
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million
to 450 million(
Possible spelling mistake found.
SamSung
) and from 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
to 130 million(Apple) in 2013, which opened a new era of smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
On the other hand
, Nokia dropped
sharply
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
230
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
sales in the period of 2 years from 2011 to 2013. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
Possible spelling mistake found.
ZTE
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
much since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sold 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
which was equal to their sales in 2011.

IELTS academic The graph illustrates the number of cellphones sold globally by SamSung, Apple, ZTE and Nokia in a period of 4 years from 2009 to 2013.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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