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In this text I will analyze between the males and females period of studying if it was full time or only part time between 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91.

In this text I will analyze between the males and females period of studying if it was full time or only part time between 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91. Pg16p
In this text I will analyze between the males and females period of studying if it was full time or only part time between 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91. In 1970/71 the male and females had the lowest point in the chart studying full time, but on the contrary the males had the highest point in the education part time. Otherwise in 1980/81 the average of the males and females was nearly the same between both education times up to a point between the 800 students in part time education and 200 students in full time. To some extent, the female students of full and part time in 1990/91, both get the peak in the chart in the same way as the full time male students. As a result of it we can see that the female students with the time they go up in this chart in both times of studying as well as the male full time students.
In this text I will analyze between the
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males
and
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females
period of studying if it was
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full
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time
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91.

In 1970/71 the male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
had the lowest point in the chart studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the contrary
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
had the highest point in the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
in 1980/81 the average of the
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males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
was
nearly
the same between both education
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times
up to a point between the 800
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students
in
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part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
education and 200
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students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, the
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female
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students
of
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full
and
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part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in 1990/91, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the peak in the chart
in the same way
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
male students.

As a result
of it we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they go up in this chart in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of studying
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic In this text I will analyze between the males and females period of studying if it was full time or only part time between 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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