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the government should ban all forms of advertisements

the government should ban all forms of advertisements 0ndk5
The chart illustrates the proportion of UK residents over 4 years on radio and television audience according to the time of the day and night from October to December in 1992. Overall, more people listened to radio during the morning compared to TV, whilst from the evening to the dawn people watched TV more than listening to radio. To begin with, less than 5% of population listened to radio from 1am to 6am. Similarly, about 7% people watched TV in 1 am and it dropped to less than 5% but slightly over than that of radio during 2am to 6 am. The percentage of radio audience soared from 6am to 8am, which strated under 5% and picked the high of over 25%, and then steadily decreased during the rest of the day. During the same period, the percentage of people watched TV fluctuated and then rapidly rose to almost 45% in 9 pm, followed by more rapid decrease to about 15% in 24. 00. It has been enigmatic quandary as to whether every forms fo advertisements should be banned by government. However, having anlayzed the unnecessary consumption and the dissatisfaction on the present, I state that government should do block all types of advertisements. To begin with, the unnecessary consumption indubitably explains the matter pertaining to this theme. In a modern society in which everyone brings their mobile phone everywhere, many encounter advertisements during the whole day in the streets and even on the phone. In such conditions, people tend to purchase products on the advertisements in habits without thinking throuhgly on they really need the products. These habits induce people to buy unnecessary things, as they constantly exposed to advertisements and the advertisements ardently make them to believe the products are needed. This misleaded decisions by advetisements to purchase even unnecessary things, sadly though, might cause the ruthless overuse of natural resources, a serious problem in the near future. Therefore, this unnecessary consumption obviously proves why the government must prohibit all forms of advertisements. The dissatisfaction on the present lucidly depicts the issue at the hand. The more people use the Internet, the more people compare themselves with celebrities on social media and dissapointed with themselves. Accustomed to comparing themselves with others, people easily deceived by the advertisements saying thier products can make you hip and cool like the celebrities. This kind of marketing tectic, widely used thesedays, unexpectedly though, makes consumers iteratively dissatisfied with themselves and induce depression in the end. At first glance, it seems the government shoudn’t regulate the advertisements. However, the unnecessary consumption and the rampant dissatisfaction of oneself explictily ascertains why the government must ban all forms of advertisements.
The chart illustrates the proportion of UK residents over 4 years on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and television audience according to the time of the day and night from October to December in 1992.

Overall
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listened to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
during the morning compared to TV, whilst from the evening to the dawn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
TV more than listening to radio.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, less than 5% of population listened to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
from 1am to 6am.
Similarly
, about 7%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
TV in 1 am and it dropped to less than 5%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
slightly
over than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
during 2am to 6 am. The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
audience soared from 6am to 8am, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
strated
under 5% and picked the high of over 25%, and then
steadily
decreased during the rest of the day. During the same period, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
TV fluctuated and then
rapidly
rose to almost 45% in 9 pm, followed by more rapid decrease to about 15% in 24. 00.

It has been enigmatic quandary
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "form"?
forms
Possible spelling mistake found.
fo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should
be banned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
However
, having
Possible spelling mistake found.
anlayzed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and the dissatisfaction on the present, I state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should do block all types of advertisements.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
indubitably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
the matter pertaining to this theme. In a modern society in which everyone brings their mobile phone everywhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
encounter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
during the whole day in the streets and even on the phone. In such conditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in habits without thinking
Possible spelling mistake found.
throuhgly
on they
really
need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. These habits induce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
things, as they
constantly
exposed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
ardently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are needed
. This
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "misled", the past tense form of the verb 'mislead'?
misleaded
decisions by
Possible spelling mistake found.
advetisements
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
things,
sadly
though, might cause the ruthless overuse of natural resources, a serious problem in the near future.
Therefore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
obviously
proves why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prohibit all forms of advertisements.

The dissatisfaction on the present
lucidly
depicts the issue at the hand. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compare themselves with celebrities on social media and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissapointed
with themselves. Accustomed to comparing themselves with others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
deceived by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
saying
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you hip and cool like the celebrities. This kind of marketing
Possible spelling mistake found.
tectic
,
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
,
unexpectedly
though,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
consumers
iteratively
dissatisfied with themselves and induce depression in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

At
first
glance, it seems the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoudn
’t regulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
and the rampant dissatisfaction of oneself
Possible spelling mistake found.
explictily
ascertains why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ban all forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
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IELTS academic the government should ban all forms of advertisements

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
445 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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