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In most countries, families are becoming smaller and more dispersed, which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to

In most countries, families are becoming smaller and more dispersed, which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to 0MQX9
The pie chart compares the household spending in Japan and Malaysia in terms of five important sections in 2010. Overall, it is clear that people in both nations spent the largest money in three sections: housing, food and other goods and services. In contrast, health care was spent the smallest money in Japan and Malaysia. Looking more closely at the chart, the proportion of housing, food and other goods and services were higher 20%. In Japanese households, other goods and services accounted for the highest percentage, at 29% but they were recorded 26% in Malaysia. In Malaysia, the largest proportion is housing, which represented 34% of the total expenditures Whereas, Japanese only spent 21% for this. In terms of food, the percentage for Malaysia was slightly higher than Japan, at 27% and 24% respectively. The figures for health care and transport in Japan were doubled those for Malaysia. In Japan, housing was spent 6% of the total, while transport accounted for 20%. So in Malaysia, 3% for housing and 10% for transport.
The pie chart compares the household spending in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia in terms of five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sections in 2010.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in both nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the largest money in three sections: housing, food and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services.
In contrast
, health care was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the smallest money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Malaysia.

Looking more
closely
at the chart, the proportion of housing, food and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services were higher 20%. In Japanese households, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services accounted for the highest percentage, at 29%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
were recorded
26% in Malaysia. In Malaysia, the largest proportion is housing, which represented 34% of the total expenditures Whereas, Japanese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
21% for this.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
terms of food, the percentage for Malaysia was
slightly
higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, at 27% and 24%
respectively
.

The figures for health care and transport in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
were doubled
those for Malaysia. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, housing was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
6% of the total, while transport accounted for 20%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in Malaysia, 3% for housing and 10% for transport.
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IELTS academic In most countries, families are becoming smaller and more dispersed, which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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