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In Australia use of online service in age group

In Australia use of online service in age group PE1lj
The table illustrates about rate of online method using by four different ages groups. Use for study, banking, email, shopping, chatting, and other. Overall, the highest of used of online facility in E-mail in all age group on the contrary older people does not used more than adults. Clearly show in this table that 36 percent online service is used by 11-19 age people. 20-29 age crowds are utilised online technology more than 32-39 age falls, 31 and 27 percentage respectively. 40 and over age communities do used less as compare to other groups, rate is 18. First age group on 2 cost used a banking facility on online. Last two unities are more used E-banking as compare to first two groups 30-39 and 40-over 11 and 20 percent separately. Furthermore, 20-29 and 30-39 age groups are equal used of online techno, 41 cost in this. 40 and over people are more used and other group 20 percent society use this. An Australian peoples are do not more other utilized of this computer, service is 30-39 and 40 and over age crowds are used only 1tariff.
The table illustrates about rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
method using by four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
for study, banking, email, shopping, chatting, and other.

Overall
, the highest of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
facility in E-mail in all
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age
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group
on the contrary
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "use"
used
more than adults.

Clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in this table that 36 percent
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online
service is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by 11-19
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. 20-29
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
crowds are
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
technology more than 32-39
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age
falls, 31 and 27 percentage
respectively
. 40 and
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over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
communities do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to other
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groups
, rate is 18.
First
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age
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group
on 2 cost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a banking facility on
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online
. Last two unities are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
E-banking as compare to
first
two
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groups
30-39 and
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40-over
11 and 20 percent
separately
.

Furthermore
, 20-29 and 30-39
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age
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groups
are equal
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used
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
techno, 41 cost in this. 40 and
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over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
20 percent society
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use
this. An Australian
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "people"?
peoples
are
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
not more other
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilize' and 'utilise') within a single text.
utilized
of this computer, service is 30-39 and 40 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
crowds are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1tariff.
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IELTS academic In Australia use of online service in age group

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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