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Imprisonment in Five Countries.

Imprisonment in Five Countries. 8xDmP

Overall, while the number of imprisoned people increased throughout the period for Great Britain, it fluctuated for all other countries. The least incarceration numbers were in Great Britain from 1930 to 1960, and in Australia in 1980. Canada had the distinction of highest imprisonments in 1930 and 1950, and the United States had the most people jailed in 1940, 1960, 1970 and 1980. The number of people jailed in Great Britain was about 30 thousand in 1930 and it increased gradually to about 80 thousand in 1980. The figure for Australia dropped dramatically from 1930 to 1940, before rising gradually till 1970. Thereafter, it again decreased suddenly in 1980 to become the lowest among all countries. New Zealand imprisoned 100 thousand people in 1930 and this number fell sharply in 1940 and remained constant in 1950. In 1960, it rose appreciably to 80 thousand and again remained constant before rising marginally in 1980. The United States incarcerated 100 thousand individuals in 1930 and the figure increased sharply in 1940. The numbers fluctuated during the following decades and they reached the peak of 140 thousand in 1980. Canada, which had the most jailed individuals in 1930, witnessed minor fluctuations in its numbers while showing a general declining trend.

Overall
, while the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsumtotalfigurestatistic
number
 of imprisoned You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 increased throughout the period for Great Britain, it fluctuated for all other countries. The least incarceration You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsumtotalfigurestatistic
numbers
 were in Great Britain from 1930 to 1960, and in Australia in 1980. Canada had the distinction of A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".the highest
highest
 imprisonments in 1930 and 1950, and the United States had the most You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 jailed in 1940, 1960, 1970 and 1980.

The You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsumtotalfigurestatistic
number
 of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 jailed in Great Britain was about 30 thousand in 1930 and it increased gradually
 to about 80 thousand in 1980. The figure for Australia dropped dramatically
 from 1930 to 1940, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 rising gradually
 till 1970. Thereafter, it again decreased suddenly
 in 1980 to become the lowest among all countries.

New Zealand imprisoned 100 thousand You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 in 1930 and this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsumtotalfigurestatistic
number
 fell sharply
 in 1940 and remained constant in 1950. In 1960, it rose appreciably
 to 80 thousand and again remained constant This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 rising marginally
 in 1980. The United States incarcerated 100 thousand individuals in 1930 and the figure increased sharply
 in 1940. The You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsumtotalfigurestatistic
numbers
 fluctuated during the following Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).decades, and
decades and
 they reached the peak of 140 thousand in 1980. Canada, which had the most jailed individuals in 1930, witnessed minor fluctuations in its You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsumtotalfigurestatistic
numbers
 while showing a general declining trend. 

IELTS academic Imprisonment in Five Countries.

Academic

American English

3 paragraphs

207 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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