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The given graph represents the differences between two new music sides , Pop Parade and Music Choice.

The given graph represents the differences between two new music sides, Pop Parade and Music Choice. pXnPL
As it is observed, the figures from the line graph shows (show) that both music sites gained more visits to their sites on the web and can be seen growing at a decent speed. It is clear from the start that Pop Parade is leading the way in visits for their music site(, ) as near(ly) 120000 were the constant number of visitors between day 1 to 3. From day 4(, ) the amount (number)of visitors started to decline. Day 7 and 9 were the lowest days for the music sites (day 7 with only 30000 visitors) but afterwards, the traffic started to increase day by day. Soon after day 15(, ) 170000 visitors recorded the highest number of visitors for the Pop Parade. Moving to another music site(, ) Music Choice(, ) the starting number of visitors were(was) 40000 with the lowest 20000 visitors can be seen. The average number of 30000 visitors can be noticed from day 2 to 11(, ) with a sudden spike of 120000 from day 12 to 14.
As it
is observed
, the figures from the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
) that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
gained more visits to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
on the web and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
growing at a decent speed.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
that Pop Parade is leading the way in visits for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site(
,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
as near(
Possible spelling mistake found.
ly
) 120000 were the constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
between day 1 to 3. From day 4(,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
the amount (number)of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decline. Day 7 and 9 were the lowest days for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
(day 7 with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
afterwards, the traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
after day 15(,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
170000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
recorded the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
for the Pop Parade.

Moving to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site(
,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
Choice(,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
the starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
were(was) 40000 with the lowest 20000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. The average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of 30000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
can
be noticed
from day 2 to 11(,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
with a sudden spike of 120000 from day 12 to 14.
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IELTS academic The given graph represents the differences between two new music sides, Pop Parade and Music Choice.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The given graph represents the differences between two new music sides , Pop Parade and Music Choice.