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Visit abroad by UK residents by various purposes of visit between 1994 to 1998

Visit abroad by UK residents by various purposes of visit between 1994 to 1998 0M9oq
The provided the chart show the information about visits abroad by UK residents by various purposes of visit between 1994 to 1998. Overall, There was upward trend in people visit in western europe between 1994 to 1998. The highest crowd travelled in West europe. In detail, more than 22 thousand people visit in 1994 and 15 thousand people visit purpose was holiday in same year. Visitors were not minor different among 1994 and 1995. For meet friends and relatives, more than 25 thousand people travelled in 1994 while more than 3 thousand crowd travelled for business purpose. After 1 year, This numbers significantly decreased. Next year For holiday, more than 17 thousand people was travelled for enjoyment. As compared business 1996 with 1998 if 7 hundred people of different among this year. ‌Secondly, around 18 thousand people out of 22 thousand went to western europe. Europe was significantly larger number than north america and other countries. All countries all year large number of people like UK for visit. Western Europe was favourite destination for travelled between 1994 to 1998.
The provided the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the information about
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visits
abroad by UK residents by various purposes of
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visit
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1994 and 1998".
between 1994 to 1998
.

Overall
, There was upward trend in
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
western europe
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1994 and 1998".
between 1994 to 1998
. The highest crowd
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travelled
in West
Possible spelling mistake found.
europe
.

In detail, more than 22 thousand
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people
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visit
in 1994 and 15 thousand
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
purpose was holiday in same
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year
. Visitors were not minor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
among 1994 and 1995. For
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends and relatives, more than 25 thousand
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people
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travelled
in 1994 while more than 3 thousand
Possible agreement error. The noun 'crowd' seems to be countable, so consider using: "crowds".
crowd
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travelled
for business purpose. After 1
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year
, This numbers
significantly
decreased.
Next
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year
For holiday, more than 17 thousand
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people
was
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travelled
for enjoyment. As compared business 1996 with 1998 if 7 hundred
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people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
among this year.

‌
Secondly
, around 18 thousand
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people
out of 22 thousand went to
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
western europe
. Europe was
significantly
larger number than
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
north america
and other countries. All countries all
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year
large number of
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people
like UK for
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visit
. Western Europe
Please check whether an article is missing: "was a favourite" or "was an favourite"
was favourite
destination for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1994 and 1998".
between 1994 to 1998
.
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IELTS academic Visit abroad by UK residents by various purposes of visit between 1994 to 1998

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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