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how the center of a small town, namely Islip, changed after some developments

how the center of a small town, namely Islip, changed after some developments 26bBk
The two pictures demonstrate how the center of a small town, namely Islip, changed after some developments during a 5 years period starting from 2005. As can be seen from the maps, the town witnessed dramatic changes. It is noticeble the biggest change was the appearance of the dual carriagenaway. Looking in the first maps in the more detail, in 2005, there were two rows of shops opposite each other across the main road. In the top of town there was countryside while there were housing, park and school in the bottom of town. By 2010, the Islip had changed considerably, the dual cariageway was erected which serounds the town. The main road was constracted and replaced by the pedestrian only road. Besides the disappearance of the countryside, the shops, whichs were on the top of the main road, were converted into bus sation, shopping centre, car park and new housing in order from left to right. The park and school continue to be remained unchanged and the new housing was constructed more.
The two pictures demonstrate how the center of a
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small
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town
,
namely
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Islip
,
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changed
after
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some
developments during a 5 years period starting from 2005.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the maps, the
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town
witnessed dramatic
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changes
. It is
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noticeble
the biggest
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change
was the appearance of the dual
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carriagenaway
.

Looking in the
first
maps in the more detail, in 2005, there were two rows of shops opposite each other across the main
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road
. In the top of
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town
there was countryside while there were housing, park and school in the bottom of town.

By 2010, the
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Islip
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
considerably
, the dual
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cariageway
was erected
which
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serounds
the
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town
. The main
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road
was
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constracted
and replaced by the pedestrian
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only
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road
.
Besides
the disappearance of the countryside, the shops,
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whichs
were on the top of the main
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road
,
were converted
into bus
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sation
, shopping
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centre
, car park and new housing in order from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to right. The park and school continue to
be remained
unchanged and the new housing
was constructed
more.

IELTS academic how the center of a small town, namely Islip, changed after some developments

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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