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The two pictures compare the layout of the school as it was year 2004 and with a proposed site layout for the year 2024.

The two pictures compare the layout of the school as it was year 2004 and with a proposed site layout for the year 2024. mL1wN
The two pictures compare the layout of the school as it was year 2004 and with a proposed site layout for the year 2024. It is clear that the main change for 2024 involves the addition of a new school building. In 2004, there were 600 pupils attending the school and to be able to accommodate 1000 pupils in 2024. In 2004, the two school buildings were separated by a path running from the main entrance to sports field. Furthermore, the plan is to join the two original buildings together creating a shorter path that link the buildings only. Besides, the sports field is going to be demolished and the third new school building with second car park will be built on 2024. After that the new small sports field will be built on behind of third new school building. The new road will also be built from the main entrance to the second car park. Finally, no change will be made to the main entrance and original car park.
The two pictures compare the layout of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as it was year 2004 and with a proposed site layout for the year 2024.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for 2024 involves the addition of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. In 2004, there were 600 pupils attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and to be able to accommodate 1000 pupils in 2024.

In 2004, the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
were separated
by a path running from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
entrance to sports field.
Furthermore
, the plan is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the two original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
together creating a shorter path that link the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Besides
, the sports field is going to
be demolished
and the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
with second car park will
be built
on 2024.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sports field will
be built
on behind of third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
road will
also
be built
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
entrance to the second car park.

Finally
, no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will
be made
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
entrance and original car park.
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IELTS academic The two pictures compare the layout of the school as it was year 2004 and with a proposed site layout for the year 2024.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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