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how fats and oils are made

how fats and oils are made kYRxW
The diagram shows how fats and oils are made and shows all the stages of the process, starting from collecting the raw materials and ending with the final product. I will describe all of these nine stages In the beginning, sunflowers, palm oil and nuts, are being collected and transported to silo. There they are being crushed and milled, then the materials are pressed at the same facility. The next stages are done in order to clean the oils and make them edible: they are being filtered and steamed. Coconut oil, sunflower oil and refined oils are being made through this process. These are used to make other edible oils which are then can be found at the supermarket. Overall, the process of making edible oils and fats is an extremely producing. In general, it involves cleaning for the oils to not be harmful for consumption.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how fats and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
are made
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows


all the stages of the process, starting from collecting the raw materials and ending with the final product. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
all of these nine
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stages


In the beginning, sunflowers, palm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and nuts, are
being collected
and transported to silo. There they are
being crushed
and milled, then the materials
are pressed
at the same facility. The
next
stages
are done
in order to clean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them edible: they are
being filtered
and steamed. Coconut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, sunflower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and refined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
are
being made
through this process. These are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
other edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
which are then can
be found
at the supermarket.

Overall
, the process of making edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
and fats is an
extremely
producing.
In general
, it involves cleaning for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oils
to not be harmful for consumption.
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IELTS academic how fats and oils are made

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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