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how exports from one country were transported in 3 different years

how exports from one country were transported in 3 different years W1LW
This bar chart shows a comparison of 3 diverse modes of export transportation in one's country in the year 2010, 2011, and 2012. In 2010 around 45% of total exports used sea transportation to made their export and grew steadily to around 49% of total exports in 2011 and increased to about 53% of total exports in 2012. On the contrary, total exports made by using air transportation stood at 25% in 2010, but this bar fell constantly to 18% in 2010 and keep falling to 12% in 2012 making air transportation the least favorite ways to export. Lastly, 20% of total exports adopted using road transportation in 2010 and fluctuated each year to 11% in 2011 and grew to 18% in 2011, making road transportation the second most popular mode. In conclusion, sea transportation remained the most popular way to make an export from one country to another from 2010 to 2011 while air transportation continued declining.
This bar chart
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shows
a comparison of 3 diverse modes of
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export
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transportation
in one's country in the year 2010, 2011, and 2012.

In 2010 around 45% of
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total
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exports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
sea
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transportation
to made their
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export
and grew
steadily
to around 49% of
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total
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exports
in 2011 and increased to about 53% of
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total
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exports
in 2012.

On the contrary
,
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total
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exports
made by using air
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transportation
stood at 25% in 2010,
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but
this bar fell
constantly
to 18% in 2010 and
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keep
falling to 12% in 2012 making air
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transportation
the least favorite ways to export.

Lastly
, 20% of
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total
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exports
adopted using road
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transportation
in 2010 and fluctuated each year to 11% in 2011 and grew to 18% in 2011, making road
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transportation
the second most popular mode.

In conclusion
, sea
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transportation
remained the most popular way to
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make
an
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export
from one country to another from 2010 to 2011 while air
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transportation
continued declining.
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IELTS academic how exports from one country were transported in 3 different years

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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