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how bees produced honey and its process

how bees produced honey and its process XqXM8
The given diagram illustrates how bees produced honey. The general overview here is that it is a linear process consisting of seven significant stages, the process begins with the honey bee building a hive, and then finishes when the honey is ready to collect and use. According to the diagram, it can be seen that the honey bee have to build a container. This is called a hive and it consists of many individually built cells, next, the bees leave Thierry hive in order to search for flowers. When they find a suitable flower, they collect the nectar from it, which is used to make honey. The nectar is then taken back to the hive where the production process can begin, then, following this, the nectar must be cooled down. In order to do this, the bee fan the nectar-filled cells with its wings. As a result, the nectar loses its water content and then finally, the honey is produced.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates how bees produced honey. The general overview here is that it is a linear process consisting of seven significant stages, the process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the honey bee building a hive, and then finishes when the honey is ready to collect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.

According to the diagram, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the honey bee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build a container. This
is called
a hive and it consists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individually
built cells,
next
, the bees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
Thierry
The singular proper name 'Thierry' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "hives", "hived".
hive
in order to search for flowers. When they find a suitable flower, they collect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
from it, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
honey.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
is then taken back to the hive where the production process can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, then, following this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be cooled
down. In order to do this, the bee fan the nectar-filled cells with its wings.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
loses its water content and then
finally
, the honey
is produced
.
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IELTS academic how bees produced honey and its process

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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