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line graph showing tv and radio audiences percentages in uk

line graph showing tv and radio audiences percentages in uk 2RMJx
The line graph gives the information about the people listening to radio and watching television over 4-years and old in UK between October and December in 1992 from 1: 00 to 23: 00. It is clear that the audiences for television were more at night time, while the radio listeners were at peak during the day. Although, there was a constant rate for both of them before 7: 00. At 1: 00, 6% of the population watches television compared to radio(3%). After 6: 00, there is a dramatical rise in the active listening of radio from 4% to 25% by 8: 00. Then, there was a gradual decline in the proportion after 13: 00. During that period, the active television watchers were way too lesser than the radio listeners, which was between 5% and 10%. During 13: 00 and 21: 00, a sudden surge in the television audience from 15% to 45% was experienced. Although, the users were decreased to less than 20% between 22: 00 and 23: 00 in the UK.
The line graph gives the information about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
over 4-years and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
in UK between October and December in 1992 from 1: 00 to 23: 00. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the audiences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
were more at
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners were at peak during the day. Although, there was a constant rate for both of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
7: 00. At 1: 00, 6% of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
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television
compared to
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radio(3%)
. After 6: 00, there is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dramatical
rise in the active listening of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
from 4% to 25% by 8: 00. Then, there was a gradual decline in the proportion after 13: 00. During that period, the active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
watchers were way
The word 'to' seems to be wrong here.
too lesser
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners, which was between 5% and 10%. During 13: 00 and 21: 00, a sudden surge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
audience from 15% to 45%
was experienced
. Although, the users
were decreased
to less than 20% between 22: 00 and 23: 00 in the UK.
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IELTS academic line graph showing tv and radio audiences percentages in uk

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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