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How are cement and concrete made?

How are cement and concrete made? ebwEx
The diagram shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, which is then used to make concrete for construction purposes. As per the diagrams, there are two processes – the cement production and the concrete production. As the names suggest, the first process is used to manufacture cement. In the latter process, a small portion of this cement is used to make concrete for constructions. The cement production has five stages. It starts with limestone and clay crushed together into powders and then mixed via a mixer. The mixed powders enter the rotating heater, where heat is supplied at the end of the tunnel. After that, the product is ground into cement, which is then packed into bags for making concrete. In the case of concrete production, only 15% of the cement is used during the process. The cement is added with 10% water, 25% sand and 50% of small stones, called gravel. All of them are poured into the concrete mixer, which rotates continuously in order to manufacture concrete for building purposes.
The diagram
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shows
the stages and equipment
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used
in the cement-making
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process
, which is then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete for construction purposes.

As per the diagrams, there are two
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processes
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the
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cement
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production
and the concrete
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production
. As the names suggest, the
first
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process
is
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used
to manufacture
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cement
. In the latter
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process
, a
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small
portion of this
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cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete for constructions.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
has five stages. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with limestone and clay crushed together into powders and then mixed via a mixer. The mixed powders enter the rotating heater, where heat
is supplied
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the tunnel. After that, the product
is ground
into
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cement
, which is then packed into bags for making concrete.

In the case of concrete
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production
,
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only
15% of the
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cement
is
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used
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
with 10% water, 25% sand and 50% of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones, called gravel. All of them
are poured
into the concrete mixer, which rotates
continuously
in order to manufacture concrete for building purposes.
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IELTS academic How are cement and concrete made?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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