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Cnges in the population of people aged 65 and above in three countries – Canada, Germany and the UK

Cnges in the population of people aged 65 and above in three countries – Canada, Germany and the UK 7L0pY
The table shows the changes in the population of people aged 65 and above in three countries – Canada, Germany and the UK, in the years 1988 and 2000. It also displays an estimated percentage of the population in the year 2030. Overall, the population of elderly people seems to increase with each passing year. Germany seems to have the most stable growth – with 20. 45% of the entire population accounts for elderly people in 1988, and 25. 32% of that in 2000. In 2030, Germany is estimated to have around 30. 42% of elderly people in total. Germany is also predicted to have the highest number of elderly people among the three countries, by 2030. In the case of Canada, the population of elderly people in 1988 and 2000 are 16. 32% and 20. 67%, respectively. It is estimated to be 26. 35% by 2030. The UK showed the least growth in population from 1988 to 2000. The country started with 14. 23% in 1988 and only rose to a mere 14. 89% by 2000. Elderly people in the UK are estimated to be around 20. 35% by 2030, which is the least when compared to the estimations of Canada and Germany.
The table
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shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
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population
of
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people
aged 65 and above in three countries
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Canada, Germany and the UK, in the years 1988 and 2000. It
also
displays an
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estimated
percentage of the
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population
in the year 2030.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
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elderly
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people
seems to increase with each passing year. Germany seems to have the most stable growth
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
with 20. 45% of the entire
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population
accounts for
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elderly
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people
in 1988, and 25. 32% of that in 2000. In 2030, Germany is
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estimated
to have around 30. 42% of
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elderly
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people
in total. Germany is
also
predicted to have the highest number of
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elderly
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people
among the three countries, by 2030.

In the case of Canada, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
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elderly
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people
in 1988 and 2000 are 16. 32% and 20. 67%,
respectively
. It is
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estimated
to be 26. 35% by 2030.

The UK
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showed
the least growth in
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population
from 1988 to 2000. The country
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started
with 14. 23% in 1988 and
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only
rose to a mere 14. 89% by 2000.
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Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the UK are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
estimated
to be around 20. 35% by 2030, which is the least when compared to the estimations of Canada and Germany.
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IELTS academic Cnges in the population of people aged 65 and above in three countries – Canada, Germany and the UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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