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Hours of sunshine in some countries

Hours of sunshine in some countries kx18O
It can be seen that in the three first months (January, February, and March) the city of Sydney begins with 25 hours of sunlight. Then, it has a gradual decline to 10 hours of sunlight less in July. After that, it has a brief rise in the next months. Getting at the same amount of hours of sunlight at the end as it started. In sharp contrast to this, London starts with 10 hours of sunshine. It continues going up overtaking Sydney in May. Getting at a maximum of almost 25 hours of sunlight. Then it has a declined in the last months. Moreover, New York begins with the least amount of warm hours (5). Nevertheless, in the month of July it takes the higher amount of hours of sunshine (30 hours). then, it has a plummet to finish to 5 arm hours. Regarding the table, it can be concluded that over a period of a year London got the lowest amount of warm hours (1, 180) and New York got the highest amount of sunlight hours (2, 535)
It can be
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seen
that in the three
first
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months
(January, February, and March) the city of Sydney
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begins
with 25
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hours
of
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sunlight
. Then, it has a gradual decline to 10
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hours
of
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sunlight
less in July. After that, it has a brief rise in the
next
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months
. Getting at the same
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amount
of
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hours
of
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sunlight
at the
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end
as it
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started
.

In sharp contrast to this, London
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starts
with 10
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hours
of sunshine. It continues going up overtaking Sydney in May. Getting at a maximum of almost 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
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sunlight
. Then it has a declined in the last
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months
.
Moreover
, New York
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begins
with the least
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amount
of warm
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hours
(5).
Nevertheless
, in the
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month
of July it takes the higher
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amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of sunshine (30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours)
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
, it has a plummet to finish to 5 arm hours.

Regarding the table, it can
be concluded
that over a period of a year London
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of warm
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hours
(1, 180) and New York
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sunlight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
(2, 535)

IELTS academic Hours of sunshine in some countries

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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