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The graph shows the results of survey people's coffee buying and drinking in five Avstralia's city

The graph shows the results of survey people's coffee buying and drinking in five Avstralia's city lX6Db
The bar graph illustrates that, percentage of people coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Avstralian city namely, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart in last four weekIt is important to say that, buying fresh coffee is higher in Sydney during 4 week period. Approximately 45percent people bought fresh coffee. In Brisbane indications is lower than other 4cities. Only 35 percent residents prefer to buy fresh coffee. According to the results of survey in Hobart about 55 percent people pursued instant coffee previous month. However, percentage of instant buyers were the lowest in Sydney. Brisbane is the second city after Hobart which is the local residents keen on buying instrant coffee. As well as, percentages just 52 percent in Brisbane. In last 4week, 63 percent of people paid a visit to a cafe for coffee or tea. In Melbourne rates are more higher than other cities. It is clearly shows that, the vast number of people go to a cafes in order to drink coffee regularly.
The bar graph illustrates that, percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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coffee
and tea buying and drinking habits in five
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Avstralian
city
namely
, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Hobart in last four
Possible spelling mistake found.
weekIt
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to say that, buying fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
is higher in Sydney during
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
4 week
period. Approximately
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45percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
. In Brisbane indications is lower than other
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4cities
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
35
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percent
residents prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
. According to the results of survey in Hobart about 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pursued instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
previous month.
However
, percentage of instant buyers were the lowest in Sydney. Brisbane is the second city after Hobart which is the local residents keen on buying
Possible spelling mistake found.
instrant
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coffee
.
As well
as, percentages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
52
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percent
in Brisbane. In last 4week, 63
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
paid a visit to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
or tea. In Melbourne rates are
Use only "higher" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more higher
than other
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cities
. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, the vast number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to a
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
in order to drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
regularly
.
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IELTS academic The graph shows the results of survey people's coffee buying and drinking in five Avstralia's city

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
167 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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