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The chart below show the amount and type of sugary foods consumed by men and women and four different countries.

The chart below show the amount and type of sugary foods consumed by men and women and four different countries. 86P3B
The chart illustrates the type of sugary foods (chocolate, flavoured yoghurt, protein bars, biscuits) eaten by men and women in USA, UK, France and Canada along with the ratio of consumption. The data are measured in percentage. Overall, it is clear that women consumed most foods which contains sugar compare to men. On the whole, the four countries had the same overall percentage while, in France, people ate more chocolates, however, the other countries had similar rate. First of all, the intake of sugary foods by women is relatively higher than the men who consumed those foods which is 64% of women tend to eat more unhealthy foods whereas 34% of men appeared to be more healthier in all four countries. In addition, the consumption of chocolate is notable in France because nearly half the population (42%) tend to eat chocolates more often, nevertheless, the USA, Canada and UK had 21%, 21% and 23% respectivelty. Protein bars in Canada had the most with 53% while UK had the least with 12%, meanwhile, the intake of supplements flavoured yoghurt and biscuits appears to be with similar percentage in all four countries.
The chart illustrates the type of sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
(chocolate,
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavoured' is British English.
flavoured
Possible spelling mistake. 'yoghurt' is British English.
yoghurt
, protein bars, biscuits) eaten by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, UK, France and Canada along with the ratio of consumption. The data
are measured
in percentage.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
consumed most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which contains sugar compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
On the whole
, the four countries had the same
overall
percentage while, in France,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chocolates
,
however
, the other countries had similar rate.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the intake of sugary
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foods
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is
relatively
higher than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
who consumed those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which is 64% of
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women
tend to eat more unhealthy
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foods
whereas 34% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
appeared to be
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
in all four countries.

In addition
, the consumption of chocolate is notable in France
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nearly
half the population (42%) tend to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chocolates
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
,
nevertheless
, the USA, Canada and UK had 21%, 21% and 23%
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectivelty
. Protein bars in Canada had the most with 53% while UK had the least with 12%, meanwhile, the intake of supplements
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavoured' is British English.
flavoured
Possible spelling mistake. 'yoghurt' is British English.
yoghurt
and biscuits appears to be with similar percentage in all four countries.
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IELTS academic The chart below show the amount and type of sugary foods consumed by men and women and four different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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