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Home and International Students Attending British Universities from 2010 to 2012

Home and International Students Attending British Universities from 2010 to 2012 obPBq
The bar chart illustrates the amount of domestic and foreign students enrolled in UK Universities over three years, from 2010 to 2012. The overall trend is that home students tend to attend British universities more than international students. It is obvious that the British students are always the highest, however, they fell in 2011 by nearly a half. Conversely, they rose up by almost double to their peak of around 43 in 2012. On the other hand, international students have always increased in numbers. . In 2011 the increase was quite small. But, the year after, the numbers shot up by nearly a third. For the women students, the big difference in numbers from the men is that they always rose. As with the men, the home students were always higher, at twofold of international students. The numbers went up by a quarter in 2011 and by only a few points in 2012. Also, a similar trend to the men is that international students always grew, nevertheless, the increases were smaller.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of domestic and foreign
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students
enrolled in UK Universities over three years, from 2010 to 2012. The
overall
trend is that home
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students
tend to attend British universities more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
students.

It is obvious that the British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are always the highest,
however
, they fell in 2011 by
nearly
a half.
Conversely
, they rose up by almost double to their peak of around 43 in 2012.
On the other hand
,
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have always increased in
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numbers
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In 2011 the increase was quite
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small
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the year after, the
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numbers
shot up by
nearly
a third.

For the women
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students
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference in
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numbers
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
is that they always rose. As with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, the home
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students
were always higher, at twofold of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
went up by a quarter in 2011 and by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few points in 2012.
Also
, a similar trend to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
is that
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international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
always grew,
nevertheless
, the increases were smaller.
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IELTS academic Home and International Students Attending British Universities from 2010 to 2012

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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