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The given bar chart illustrates the aid from 6 developed nations to developing regions between 2008 and 2010.

The given bar chart illustrates the aid from 6 developed nations to developing regions between 2008 and 2010. JVpDw
The given bar chart illustrates the aid from 6 developed nations to developing regions between 2008 and 2010. The data has measured in billions. Overall, it is clear seen that the maximum number of aid were in US by 2010. While, minimum number of billion was only Sweden in three given years. Moving to detail, the US provided $ 22 bn aid in 2008 and figure was fell by 2 billion in 2009, but picked up again to reached $ 24 bn in 2010. However, the Germany aid wad only 10 billion in 2008 and almost identical in further period by 11 as well as 12 billion. Whilst, Sweden show a similar pattern in over the 3 years was $ 8, 9, 7 bn respectively. Probing further, the United Kingdom was 11 billion in 2008 and $ 13 bn in 2010. Whereas, Japan and Netherland was the highest number from aids was 12 bn and 9 billion in 2008 and 2009. Then, 2010 was two region was least number of aids by 10. 5 as well as 7. 25 billions.
The
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given
bar chart illustrates the
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aid
from 6 developed nations to developing regions between 2008 and 2010. The data has measured in
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billions
.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the maximum
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number
of
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aid
were in US by 2010.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, minimum
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number
of
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billion
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Sweden in three
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years. Moving to detail, the US provided
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$22".
$ 22
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bn
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aid
in 2008 and figure was fell by 2
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billion
in 2009,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
picked up again to reached
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$24".
$ 24
Possible spelling mistake found.
bn
in 2010.
However
, the Germany
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aid
wad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
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billion
in 2008 and almost identical in
further
period by 11
as well
as 12
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billion
. Whilst, Sweden
The singular proper name 'Sweden' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "shows", "showed".
show
a similar pattern in over the 3 years was
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$8".
$ 8
, 9, 7
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bn
respectively
. Probing
further
, the United Kingdom was 11
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billion
in 2008 and
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$13".
$ 13
Possible spelling mistake found.
bn
in 2010. Whereas, Japan and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Netherland
was the highest
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number
from
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aids
was 12
Possible spelling mistake found.
bn
and 9
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billion
in 2008 and 2009. Then, 2010 was two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'region' seems to be countable, so consider using: "regions".
region
was
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
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number
of
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aids
by 10. 5
as well
as 7. 25
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billions
.
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IELTS academic The given bar chart illustrates the aid from 6 developed nations to developing regions between 2008 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
180 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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