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export of a country in the year 2015 and year 2016

export of a country in the year 2015 and year 2016 B7oRj
The bar graph depicts the export earnings of a country in two succeeding years 2015 and 2016 for five categories while the table shows the proportional change in the export income value from 2015 to 2016. Overall, the export income increased in 2016 when compared with the preceding year in all but one sector, which is the Gems and jewellery category. . In terms of absolute numbers, the textiles industry had the highest proportional change in the value of exports while the agricultural products had the least. On the opposite side, Gems and jewellery had a negative change. The petroleum products earned 60 billion in the exports in the year 2015 and jumped by 3% to approximately 62 billion dollars. Engineering products, on the other hand, bumped up by 8. 5% from about 56 billion to more 61 billion narrowly behind the pretoleum products. Gems and jewellery is the only category that saw a decline in the earnings with the 2016 income decreasing 5. 18% compared to the previous year. Agricultural products increases by a slight margin thereby looking more or less same in the bar chart. Textiles takes a huge leap from being the lowest grossing in the year 2015 to roughly the same as agricultural products in the year 2016.
The bar graph depicts the
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export
earnings of a country in two succeeding years 2015 and 2016 for five categories while the table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the proportional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
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export
income value from 2015 to 2016.

Overall
, the
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export
income increased in 2016 when compared with the preceding
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year
in all
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but
one sector, which is the Gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
category.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In terms of absolute numbers, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "textiles'" or "textile's"?
textiles
industry had the highest proportional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the value of
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exports
while the agricultural
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products
had the least. On the opposite side, Gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

The petroleum
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products
earned 60
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billion
in the
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exports
in the
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year
2015 and jumped by 3% to approximately 62
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billion
dollars. Engineering
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products
,
on the other hand
, bumped up by 8. 5% from about 56
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billion
to more 61
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billion
narrowly
behind the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pretoleum
products.

Gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
category that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decline in the earnings with the 2016 income decreasing 5. 18% compared to the previous
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year
. Agricultural
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products
increases by a slight margin thereby looking more or less same in the bar chart.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "textile takes".
Textiles takes
a huge leap from being the lowest grossing in the
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year
2015 to roughly the same as agricultural
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products
in the
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year
2016.
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IELTS academic export of a country in the year 2015 and year 2016

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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