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hired books number in 2009

hired books number in 2009 0Eby5
The given bar chart presents data concerned to number of books which are rented in a British local library in 2009. Overall, the most books hired in the December and the least numebr of books leased in February. In detail, in the first month of 2009, 10 books were hired and in February 6 books were rented. Furthermore, in March this number increased slightly to 7 books. In April, the number of hired books almost doubled to 13. Moreover, in May this number raised gradually to 15 and the number of leased books in July is same with April. In addition, in June the number of rented books decreased minimally to 14. In August 20 books were hired and in September this number dropped substantially to 12. In 9th month of year this number surged steadily to 14 and in October this number went up to 14. Moreover, in November rented books number dipped to 9 and in last month the hired books number skyrocketed remarkably to 21.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart presents data concerned to
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number
of
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books
which
are rented
in a British local library in 2009.
Overall
, the most
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books
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hired
in the December and the least
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numebr
of
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books
leased in February.

In detail, in the
first
month of 2009, 10
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books
were
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hired
and
Did you mean "on February"? This seems to be a day date.
in February
6
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books
were rented
.
Furthermore
, in March this
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number
increased
slightly
to 7
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books
. In April, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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hired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
almost doubled to 13.
Moreover
, in May this
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number
raised
gradually
to 15 and the
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number
of leased
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books
in July is same with April.
In addition
, in June the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
decreased
minimally
to 14.
Did you mean "on August"? This seems to be a day date.
In August
20
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books
were
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hired
and in September this
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number
dropped
substantially
to 12.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
9th month of year this
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number
surged
steadily
to 14 and in October this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
went up to 14.
Moreover
, in November rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
dipped to 9 and in last month the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
skyrocketed
remarkably
to 21.

IELTS academic hired books number in 2009

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
168 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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