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Rates of unemployment in three European nations

Rates of unemployment in three European nations LbNYG
The line graph shows changes in unemployment rates in three specific European nations from 1991 to 2005. It is clear from the graph that over most of the given period, the percentage of unemployed people was highest in Spain, while the opposite was true for Germany. However, the proportion of Italians who are out of work kept almost the same level by 2005, only reaching a high point between 1997 and 2000. Despite a significant rise of 5 percent for the first two years, the rates of unemployment in Spain experienced stability between 1993 and 1995. However, the figure in the same country, then, started to decline, falling to just under 8percent in 2005. On the other hand, the proportion of people without jobs in Italy showed almost the same figure in 2005 as it was in 1991 at roughly 9 percent. In terms of the unemployed in Germany, the level went up and down sharply around 7 percent from the beginning until 2001. However, there was a rise to well over 10 percent at the end of the given period
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in unemployment rates in three specific European nations from 1991 to 2005.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that over most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, the percentage of unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was highest in Spain, while the opposite was true for Germany.
However
, the proportion of Italians who are out of work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
almost the same level by 2005,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reaching a high point between 1997 and 2000.

Despite a significant rise of 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for the
first
two years, the rates of unemployment in Spain experienced stability between 1993 and 1995.
However
, the figure in the same country, then,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decline, falling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
8percent
in 2005.

On the other hand
, the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without jobs in Italy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
almost the same figure in 2005 as it was in 1991 at roughly 9 percent.

In terms of the unemployed in Germany, the level went up and down
sharply
around 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
from the beginning until 2001.
However
, there was a rise to well over 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period

IELTS academic Rates of unemployment in three European nations

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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