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he graph line shows how many changes in the birth and death rate in newzeland

he graph line shows how many changes in the birth and death rate in newzeland 9BWRX
the graph line shows how many changes in the birth and death rate in newzeland during 1901to 2101. it clear from data in the graph the birth inceased and the decreased on the year. Also, the numbers of death keep on increasing through the same years. on ather hand, the rate of birth increased consistently higher than the death. Inaddition the death started 10, 000 and has icreased until 2101. While in 1901, there were about 9, 000 deaths, by 2020, it had increased to around 35, 000. The number of deaths is anticipated exceed the number of births in 2041. It is likely to reach its peak value of 58, 000 in 2061 and may decline slightly over the next four decades.
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the
graph line
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shows
how
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many
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changes
in the
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birth
and death rate in
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newzeland
during 1901to 2101.

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it
Did you mean "clears"?
clear
from data in the graph the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
Possible spelling mistake found.
inceased
and the decreased on the year.
Also
, the numbers of death
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on increasing through the same years.

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on
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ather
hand, the rate of
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birth
increased
consistently
higher than the death.
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Inaddition
the death
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
10, 000 and has
Possible spelling mistake found.
icreased
until 2101. While in 1901, there were about 9, 000 deaths, by 2020, it had increased to around 35, 000. The number of deaths
is anticipated
exceed the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
births
in 2041. It is likely to reach its peak value of 58, 000 in 2061 and may decline
slightly
over the
next
four decades.
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IELTS academic he graph line shows how many changes in the birth and death rate in newzeland

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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