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graph shows the arraived aircrafts and passengers

graph shows the arraived aircrafts and passengers 9QGPn
The given table illustrates the comparison of the number of passengers and aircrafts arrived at Singapore Changi airport during 12months in last year and the percentages pf the deviation from previous year. the most striking feature in the graph is, the highest number of arrivals recorded in December with 5, 093, 463 of passengers. However, 6. 3% of largest change of passenger arrival has been showed in January which was 4, 596, 764. Following month reported the least deviation -2. 4% of with lowest population in the airport. Similarly, 7. 6% of positive rise has been shown in aircraft landing with 30, 212 of peak in February. conversely, , 26, 345 of movements showed in next month which was the minimum number of plains arrived at the airport. Overall, the total number of passengers has been increased by 0. 7 while the reduction of aircraft has shown compared to the previous year. In conclusion, there are no considerable fluctuations of arrived population and the movements of aircraft in each month.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates the comparison of the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
arrived at Singapore
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Changi
airport during
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12months
in last year and the percentages pf the deviation from previous year.
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the
most striking feature in the graph is, the highest
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number
of arrivals recorded in December with 5, 093, 463 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
.
However
, 6. 3% of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
arrival has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in January which was 4, 596, 764. Following
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month
reported the least deviation -2. 4% of with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
population in the airport.
Similarly
, 7. 6% of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
rise has
been shown
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aircraft
landing with 30, 212 of peak in February.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
conversely
,
Two consecutive commas
,
26, 345 of movements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in
next
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month
which was the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of plains arrived at the airport.
Overall
, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
has
been increased
by 0. 7 while the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aircraft
has shown compared to the previous year.
In conclusion
, there are no considerable fluctuations of arrived population and the movements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aircraft
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
.
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IELTS academic graph shows the arraived aircrafts and passengers

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
170 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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