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The diagrams illustrates some information about working from home

The diagrams illustrates some information about working from home 9Qj5r
The diagrams illustrates some information about working from home, in the year of 2019, for both genders. The bar graph shows the main causes for working from home while the number of hours worked from home are given in the table. Based on the bar graph, there are three reasons for working from home, which are saving money, productivity, and easier childcare. The highest percentage for both genders goes to the first reason, which is saving money. Men at 45 percent and women at 42 percent. Work productivity gets only 11 percent from female individuals while the the percentage of males is more than double at 24 percent. The biggest margen is found at the third reason, where males percentage is only 4, and female percentage is 26. The table categorise the number of worked hours as under 10 hours, ten to 30 hours, and over 30 hours. Males who work less than 10 hours a week are only 3 percent, while women worked under 10 hours are 74 percent. Working Ten to thirty hours a week does not show a big different. 81 percent of men are working over 30 hours a week from home. In contrast, just 6 percent of female individuals are working over 30 hours a week.
The diagrams
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about
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working
from home, in the year of 2019, for both genders. The bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the main causes for
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working
from home while the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
worked from home are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the table.

Based on the bar graph, there are three reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home, which are saving money, productivity, and easier childcare. The highest
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percentage
for both genders goes to the
first
reason, which is saving money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
at 45
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percent
and women at 42
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percent
. Work productivity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11
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percent
from female individuals while
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
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percentage
of males is more than double at 24
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percent
. The biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
margen
is found
at the third reason, where males
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percentage
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4, and female
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percentage
is 26.

The table
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "categorises".
categorise
the number of worked
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hours
as under 10
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hours
, ten to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, and over 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Males who work less than 10
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hours
a
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week
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3
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percent
, while women worked under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are 74
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percent
.
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Working
Ten to thirty
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hours
a
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week
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. 81
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percent
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
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working
over 30
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hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
from home.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of female individuals are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
over 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
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IELTS academic The diagrams illustrates some information about working from home

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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