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Graph about population those who watching t.v and radio

Graph about population those who watching t. v and radio aAqpo
The graph tell us about the information of radio and television througout the day in 1992. In detail, on the y axis the graph represent the information of U. K population. on the other hand, x axis shows time of whole day. Firstly, in the morning a numerous people were engaging with radio. In spite of, the ratio of person watching television is less than the radio. Secondly at noon 20% people were interested with both radio and television. In the evening, most of the people were prefer to watching television. The ratio of radio listeners is too small in comparison of television. The last and the least, both radio and T. v are equal in percentage
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about the information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Possible spelling mistake found.
througout
the day in 1992. In detail, on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
y axis
the graph represent the information of U. K population.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
x axis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
time of whole day.
Firstly
, in the morning a numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were engaging with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
, the ratio of person watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is less than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
.
Secondly
at noon 20%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were interested
with both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. In the evening, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
Consider using a past participle here: "preferred".
prefer
to
Did you mean "watch"?
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. The ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
in comparison
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. The last and the least, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and T. v are equal in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percentage

IELTS academic Graph about population those who watching t. v and radio

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
116 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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