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the chart below shows the percentage of household car ownership across different age groups in China between 2010 and 2014

the chart below shows the percentage of household car ownership across different age groups in China between 2010 and 2014 wxn6n
The figure illustrates the change in the percentages of the card per household in China over a period for five years, starting in 2010 until 2014. Overall, in 2014 the percentage of people that owned the cars was the highest in each age group while in 2010 and 2011 less people kept the cars. It is clear that in the 18-29 age group car ownership increased significantly throughout the years. It was started from approximately 20%, and this index had been under 45% by 2014. Also, from the age 46 to 55, the number of cars rose quickly. In 2014, this rate was doubled comparing with 2010. Although, the quantity of cars that residents in this country possessed remain unchanged for the three years, after 2012 it grow dramatically by 15% and had a peak in 2013. Between the age 55 and 65 the number of cars fluctuated. In 2011, it had a through under 20% and after this indicator increased to about 35 %.
The figure illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the percentages of the card per household in China over a period for five years, starting in 2010 until 2014.
Overall
, in 2014 the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
was the highest in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group while in 2010 and 2011
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the cars.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in the 18-29
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership increased
significantly
throughout the years. It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from approximately 20%, and this index had been under 45% by 2014.
Also
, from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
46 to 55, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
rose
quickly
. In 2014, this rate
was doubled
comparing with 2010.

Although, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that residents in this country possessed remain unchanged for the three years, after 2012 it
Did you mean "grows"?
grow
dramatically
by 15% and had a peak in 2013. Between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
55 and 65 the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
fluctuated. In 2011, it had a through under 20% and after this indicator increased to about 35 %.

IELTS academic the chart below shows the percentage of household car ownership across different age groups in China between 2010 and 2014

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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