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Given is a line graph which depicts the figure of visitors to four diverse museums that are the Vatican Museums, the Louvre, the London Science Museum, and the Shenzhen Museum within the interval throughout the period of 1980 and 2018.

Given is a line graph which depicts the figure of visitors to four diverse museums that are the Vatican Museums, the Louvre, the London Science Museum, and the Shenzhen Museum within the interval throughout the period of 1980 and 2018. y7kVr
Given is a line graph which depicts the figure of visitors to four diverse museums that are the Vatican Museums, the Louvre, the London Science Museum, and the Shenzhen Museum within the interval throughout the period of 1980 and 2018. It can be generally observed that whilst an increasing trend was experienced by the Louvre and the Vatican Museums, London Science Museum showed a decreasing trend with the number of the Shenzhen Museum’s visitors remained stabil in the given time period. There was a significant rise in the number of visitors to the Louvre Museum from just under 8 million in 1980 to over 9 million at the end of the period in 2015. Likewise, Vatican Museums increased remarkably from approximately 5 million to just under 10 million over the 35 years period. The figure of visitors who went to the Londan Science Museums experienced a downward trend in the given period from 4 million to above 2 million. By contrast, the Shenzhen Museum remained stable in this period with about 4 million.
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Given
is a line graph which depicts the figure of
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visitors
to four diverse
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museums
that are the Vatican
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Museums
, the Louvre, the London Science
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Museum
, and the Shenzhen
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Museum
within the interval throughout the
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period
of 1980 and 2018.

It can be
generally
observed that whilst an increasing trend
was experienced
by the Louvre and the Vatican
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
, London Science
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Museum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decreasing trend with the number of the Shenzhen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum’s
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visitors
remained
Possible spelling mistake found.
stabil
in the
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given
time period.

There was a significant rise in the number of
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visitors
to the Louvre
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Museum
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 8
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million
in 1980 to over 9
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million
at the
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end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
in 2015.
Likewise
, Vatican
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Museums
increased
remarkably
from approximately 5
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million
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
over the 35 years period.

The figure of
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visitors
who went to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Londan
Science
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Museums
experienced a downward trend in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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period
from 4
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million
to above 2
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million
. By contrast, the Shenzhen
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Museum
remained stable in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
with about 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
.

IELTS academic Given is a line graph which depicts the figure of visitors to four diverse museums that are the Vatican Museums, the Louvre, the London Science Museum, and the Shenzhen Museum within the interval throughout the period of 1980 and 2018.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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