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Gene Engeering and food industry

Gene Engeering and food industry nxrBe
Nowadays, we are facing with new generation of food industry. The population are being increasing, the world is being changing and the threshold of imagery is gone beyond by Genetic Engineering. However, the diagram displays a sheep birth producer. There are three sheeps in laboratory who all of them are female.  A body cell is took from sheep A, then DNA is extracted from germ cell therefore these DNA need another germ cell to proliferation. On the other hand, the nucleus are removed after an egg cell had been took from sheep B. Eventually, the DNA and egg cell are fused. This cell is reminded on laboratory condition to proliferation wich is called embryo cell. Finally embryo cell is placed in the third sheep, thus after a while, limb is born. Certainly, the lamb took after the first sheep due to the Gens.
Nowadays, we are facing with new generation of food industry. The population are being increasing, the world is being changing and the threshold of imagery
is gone
beyond by Genetic Engineering.
However
, the diagram displays a sheep birth producer. There are three
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sheep", the plural form of the noun 'sheep'?
sheeps
in laboratory who all of them are female.  A body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
is
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
from sheep A, then DNA
is extracted
from germ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
therefore
these DNA need another germ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
to proliferation.
On the other hand
, the nucleus
are removed
after an egg
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
had been
Consider using a past participle here: "taken".
took
from sheep B.
Eventually
, the DNA and egg
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
are fused
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
is reminded
on laboratory condition to proliferation
Possible spelling mistake found.
wich
is called
embryo cell.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
embryo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
is placed
in the third sheep,
thus
after a while, limb
is born
.
Certainly
, the lamb took after the
first
sheep due to the Gens.

IELTS academic Gene Engeering and food industry

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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