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favorites leisure activates of teenagers in Canada

favorites leisure activates of teenagers in Canada OVkJk
The given bar graph represents that the who was in the young age of both genders after, They preferred to spent time on free activates ranging from computer games, sports, music to shopping, While they are in free time. Overall it can be seen that most of the boys were spent time on shopping, While the least of the girls on shopping. An analysis of the graph can be seen that both genders were equally loved to spent time on music When they are in free activates. However; in shopping were been spent time by most of the Canadian boys Which were higher than sevenfold of that girls. On another side of the graph, The young boys interested to play computer games were higher than 20% of to compare with the girls fascinated to play computer games had been lower than 15% also mostly the Canadian boys had been liked to a double spent time on sports as opposed to Canadian girls
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph represents that the who was in the young age of both genders after, They preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on free activates ranging from computer games, sports, music to shopping, While they are in free time.

Overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on shopping, While the least of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
on shopping.

An analysis of the graph can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both genders were
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on music When they are in free activates.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; in shopping
were been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by most of the Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
Which were higher than sevenfold of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. On another side of the graph, The young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
interested to play computer games were higher than 20% of to compare with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
fascinated to play computer games had been lower than 15%
also
mostly
the Canadian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
had
been liked
to a double
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on sports as opposed to Canadian
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
girls
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IELTS academic favorites leisure activates of teenagers in Canada

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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