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describe the graph of Edinburgh attractions

describe the graph of Edinburgh attractions NrbbW
This graph shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited Edinburgh attractions. Edinburgh attractions include Aquarium, Zoo, Castel, and festival. The percentage of tourists who visited Castel increased from 1980 to 1995 but then it decreased sharply between 1995 and 2000 and after that graduate drop until 2010. The most percentage of Castel visitors was up to 40% in 1995 and the lowest of them was about 25% in 1980. The number of people who visited the festival from 1980 to 2010 was between 30 percent to 25 percent and it remained stable for ten years(2000-2010). From 1980 to 1985, the number of tourists who interested to visit the Aquarium went up sharply but after 1985 the percentage of it dropped rapidly for five years. The lowest number of Aquarium visitors was less than 10% in 2010. About Zoo, the percentage of tourists fluctuated between 1980 and 2000 and after 2000 it sharply rose. The less popular Edinburgh attraction for visitors from 2005 to 2010 was Aquarium and the popular place was Castel.
This graph
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shows
the
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percentage
of
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tourists
to Scotland
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who
visited Edinburgh attractions.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Edinburgh attractions
include Aquarium, Zoo,
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Castel
, and festival. The
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percentage
of
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tourists
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who
visited
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Castel
increased from 1980 to 1995
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but
then it decreased
sharply
between 1995 and 2000 and after that graduate drop until 2010. The most
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percentage
of
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Castel
visitors was up to 40% in 1995 and the lowest of them was about 25% in 1980.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
visited the festival from 1980 to 2010 was between 30 percent to 25 percent and it remained stable for ten years(2000-2010). From 1980 to 1985, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
interested to visit the Aquarium went up
sharply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 1985 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of it dropped
rapidly
for five years. The lowest number of Aquarium visitors was less than 10% in 2010.

About Zoo, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
fluctuated between 1980 and 2000 and after 2000 it
sharply
rose. The less popular Edinburgh attraction for visitors from 2005 to 2010 was Aquarium and the popular place was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Castel
.

IELTS academic describe the graph of Edinburgh attractions

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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