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Export earning(2015-2016)

Export earning(2015-2016) GJrlg
The bar chart illustrates the changes in the percentage of the country's export in 5 various categories between 2015 and 2016. Overall, we can see that from 2015 to 2016 revenue from exports has been increased marginally for all the categories with an exception of gems and jewelery which had a minor decline over the period. To begin with, Petroleum products had the highest returns of over 60 billion in 2015 followed by engineered goods which had around 55 billion and these two shared the top spot in 2016 with tallying up more than 63 billion with a growth rate of 3% and 8. 5% respectively. Though textile exports had the lowest revenue in 2015 had the highest growth rate of 15. 24% and rose to more than 30 billion and equaled agricultural products in 2016, which had the minimum increase in the rate by 0. 81% from 2015 to 2016. In contrast, with earnings over 40 billion in 2015 gems and jewelery faced a slight decline by 5. 18% in the latter year.
The bar chart illustrates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the percentage of the country's export in 5 various categories between 2015 and 2016.

Overall
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that from 2015 to 2016 revenue from exports has
been increased
marginally
for all the categories with an
The usual collocation for "exception" in this context is "to" not "of". Did you mean "exception to"?
exception of
gems and
Possible spelling mistake found.
jewelery
which had a minor decline over the period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Petroleum products had the highest returns of over 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2015 followed by engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which had around 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
and these two shared the top spot in 2016 with tallying up more than 63
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
with a growth rate of 3% and 8. 5%
respectively
.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
textile exports had the lowest revenue in 2015 had the highest growth rate of 15. 24% and rose to more than 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
and equaled agricultural products in 2016, which had the minimum increase in the rate by 0. 81% from 2015 to 2016.
In contrast
, with earnings over 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 2015 gems and
Possible spelling mistake found.
jewelery
faced a slight decline by 5. 18% in the latter year.
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IELTS academic Export earning(2015-2016)

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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