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Explaining two charts and making comparisons.

Explaining two charts and making comparisons. G3DbB
The two charts give us an elaborated visualization of the relationship between the usage of electrical appliances and the number of hours of housework per week. From our observation of the charts, we can safely assume that the relationship is an inverse proportionality. In the first chart, after the 1920s, the usage of electrical appliances spiked. The usage of refrigerators went from near 0% to a staggering 55% in the year 1940. The growth of other appliances like vacuum cleaners and washing machines was moderate for the first twenty years from 1920 to 1940. The percentage of washing machines remained somewhat similar throughout the decades until 2019; however, the usage of vacuum cleaners increased dramatically. Both vacuum cleaners and refrigerators reached a milestone of 100% by the year 2000 and remained constant until 2019. The second chart illustrates how the number of housework hours has decreased throughout the decades. We can see the steady decline from fifty hours to twenty hours from 1920 to 1960. After that, the decline slowed down for the next two decades followed by the regular fifteen hours from 1980 to 2000. Then, it again continued the decline until it reached the lowest in 2019, around ten hours. Analyzing the two charts, we can conclude that the usage of electrical appliances in daily life has drastically reduced the housework hours of every household.
The two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
give us an elaborated visualization of the relationship between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of housework per week. From our observation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, we can
safely
assume that the relationship is an inverse proportionality.

In the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, after the 1920s, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
spiked. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of refrigerators went from near 0% to a staggering 55% in the year 1940. The growth of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
like vacuum cleaners and washing machines was moderate for the
first
twenty years from 1920 to 1940.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
percentage of washing machines remained somewhat similar throughout the decades until 2019;
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of vacuum cleaners increased
dramatically
. Both vacuum cleaners and refrigerators reached a milestone of 100% by the year 2000 and remained constant until 2019.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates how the number of housework
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
has decreased throughout the decades. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the steady decline from fifty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to twenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
from 1920 to 1960. After that, the decline slowed down for the
next
two decades followed by the regular fifteen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
from 1980 to 2000. Then, it again continued the decline until it reached the lowest in 2019, around ten hours.

Analyzing the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
, we can conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of electrical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
in daily life has
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the housework
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of every household.
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IELTS academic Explaining two charts and making comparisons.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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