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essay on the extended hours

essay on the extended hours KVVWN
In today’s fast-paced world, most of the jobs require you to work day and night, which has left many of us with very little time for our leisure activities. This situation certainly has more disadvantages as per my view. I will be explaining giving relevant examples for the same in the subsequent paragraphs. First and foremost, extended working hours leave you with less time devoted to leisure activities or hobbies which are good for relieving stress. Something like going to a gym or involvement in some sports activities like badminton, table tennis. All these activities refreshes your mind, and rejuvenates you. It not only helps in improving your fitness level but also helps in channelizing your mind actively for good ideas. For instance, I asked one of my friend who was obese, to start playing badminton with me after office hours. We have been playing this game for the last two months and he can feel the change in him. He is more fit and active and is able to give better ideas in his marketing job. Secondly, long working hours totally drains you out and when you reach home, you are left with no energy to play with your kids or spend quality time with your family. Also this not only lets you spend less family time but also provides a lot of stress and depression. For example, one of my friend was working for the company and he had similar work life schedule. He hardly use to give time to his the family, which resulted in his divorce. To conclude, there is no denying that long office hours has certainly taken a toll on our lifestyle where we are not able to give time to other leisure activities and somehow we have to manage this before things go from bad to worse.
In
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today
’s
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fast
-paced world, most of the jobs require you to work day and night, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for our leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This situation
certainly
has more disadvantages as per my view. I will be explaining giving relevant examples for the same in the subsequent paragraphs.

First
and foremost, extended working
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hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
you with less
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time
devoted to leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or hobbies which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for relieving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Something like going to a gym or involvement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like badminton, table tennis. All these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
refreshes your mind, and rejuvenates you. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in improving your fitness level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in channelizing your mind
actively
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For instance
, I asked one of my friend who was obese, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
playing badminton with me after office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. We have been playing this game for the last two
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
months and
he can feel the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in him. He is more fit and active and is able to give better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in his marketing job.

Secondly
, long working
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hours
totally
drains you out and when you reach home, you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no energy to play with your kids or spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with your family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
this not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
you spend less family
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time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression.
For example
, one of my friend was working for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
he had similar work life schedule. He hardly
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to his the family, which resulted in his divorce.

To conclude
, there is no denying that long office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
has
certainly
taken a toll on our lifestyle where we are not able to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to other leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and somehow we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
things go from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to worse.
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IELTS academic essay on the extended hours

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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