Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

elucidates the cost of watching various forms of

elucidates the cost of watching various forms of NMgDm
The line graph elucidates the cost of watching various forms of films in starling pounds from the year 2005 to 2011. The pie chart represents the percentages of market share of the cinema, online views, and DVD rentals in the years 2005 and 2011. Overall, the costs of watching films were higher in the end of the period as compared to the beginning in the line graph. In the pie chart, the market share for nearly all the various forms droped except for online views showed an upward trend in the end year. In the first graphic, DVD cost started at the lowest at £6 in the year 2005, increased upto about £7 after 2 years where it remained constant upto 2009 thereafter growing to £8 in the end year. Legal downloads price was £8 at the beginning dropped by £2 in 2007. It then took grew upwardly to almost £10 in 2011. Lastly, the cinema ticked costed the highest thruoghout, starting at about £9 and ended up to £14 in 2011. Then, there was increase in market shares for online viewers or downloads from 6% in the year 2005 to 26% in the last year. On the other hand, there was downward trend in both DVD Rental and cinema attendance. A variance of 8% observed in the former from 64% in 2005 to 56% in 2011, whereas the latter, which was 30% initially dropped to 18% market share.
The line graph elucidates the cost of watching various forms of films in starling pounds from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 to 2011. The pie chart represents the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of the cinema, online views, and DVD rentals in the years 2005 and 2011.

Overall
, the costs of watching films were higher in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period as compared to the beginning in the line graph. In the pie chart, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
for
nearly
all the various forms
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "dropped", the past tense form of the verb 'drop'?
droped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
online views
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
year.

In the
first
graphic, DVD cost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at the lowest at £6 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005, increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
about £7 after 2
It is better to use 'years' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "years when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
years where
it remained constant
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
2009 thereafter growing to £8 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Legal downloads price was £8 at the beginning dropped by £2 in 2007. It then took grew
upwardly
to almost £10 in 2011.
Lastly
, the cinema ticked costed the highest
Possible spelling mistake found.
thruoghout
, starting at about £9 and ended up to £14 in 2011.

Then, there was increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shares
for online viewers or downloads from 6% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005 to 26% in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
On the other hand
, there was downward trend in both DVD Rental and cinema attendance. A variance of 8% observed in the former from 64% in 2005 to 56% in 2011, whereas the latter, which was 30%
initially
dropped to 18%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic elucidates the cost of watching various forms of

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • elucidates the cost of watching various forms of