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Does air travel causes enough air pollution or are there any other causes. Agree or disagree

Does air travel causes enough air pollution or are there any other causes. Agree or disagree EBYB
It cannot be neglected that the modern day airplanes does consumes considerable amount of fuel causing emissions. But, however I feel that it can't be the only way to bring down the air pollution charts. Air travel, one of the most gifted modern day scientific achievement, has made possible for world to come closer and interact more effectively. The amount of air pollution caused by aero planes these days have come down substantially due to advancement in the field of engineering there by reducing the other factors of the travel as well. Evidently, prices of the tickets have come down indicating the decrease in per mile usage of the fuel. Evolution in the design have also promised in the downfall of consumption of the fuel. Universities have introduced courses and targeted studies helping to improve the overall performance of the flying steel bird in question. Noticeably, the ingredients used to cook the body of the air craft have also advanced resulting into more firmer and much lighter body. The reduction in the weight of the hull contributes towards fuel efficiency. Increase in the size and better space management have also made possible to accommodate more people on board and make the efficiency look better.
It cannot
be neglected
that the modern day airplanes does consumes considerable amount of
fuel
causing emissions.
But
,
however
I feel that it can't be the
only
way to bring down the air pollution charts.

Air travel, one of the most gifted modern day scientific achievement, has made possible for world to
come
closer and interact more
effectively
. The amount of air pollution caused by aero
planes
these days have
come
down
substantially
due to advancement in the field of engineering there by reducing the other factors of the travel
as well
.
Evidently
, prices of the tickets have
come
down indicating the decrease in per mile usage of the
fuel
. Evolution in the design have
also
promised in the downfall of consumption of the
fuel
. Universities have introduced courses and targeted studies helping to
improve
the
overall
performance of the flying steel bird in question.

Noticeably
, the ingredients
used
to cook the body of the air craft have
also
advanced resulting into
more firmer
and much lighter body. The reduction in the weight of the hull contributes towards
fuel
efficiency. Increase in the size and better space management have
also
made possible to accommodate more
people
on board and
make
the efficiency look better.
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IELTS academic Does air travel causes enough air pollution or are there any other causes. Agree or disagree

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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