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The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians gave money to charitable organisations by age range for years 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians gave money to charitable organisations by age range for years 2000 and 2015. XW8r
The chart shows how changed percentage of Canadians, who invest money to benevolent organizations by age range from 2000 to 2015 years. It illustrates what kind of percent money was invested to charitable by different age range. On the whole, according to the graph, the percentage of donating money to charity does not change dramatically, although we can see that the younger generation spent less money on charity than in 2000. Compared to 2000 from 2015, young people of the age group from 18 to 49 have invested in charity funds about 5-10% more than in 2015. However older people of the age group from 50 and over have invested in charity organization about 5-10% more than in 2000 year. Statistics show that in 2000, people over 35 to 49 years old gave more money to donate. This is the highest figure on the chart, while in 2015 the same group of people gave 5-10 % less for donations. According to this information we can suppose the financial condition of the people middle age decreased slightly.
The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
percentage of Canadians, who invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to benevolent organizations by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
range from 2000 to 2015 years.

It illustrates what kind of percent
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money
was invested
to charitable by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
range.

On the whole
, according to the graph, the percentage of donating
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money
to
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charity
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
dramatically
, although we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the younger generation spent less
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money
on
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charity
than in 2000.

Compared to 2000 from 2015, young
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people
of the
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age
group from 18 to 49 have invested in
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charity
funds about 5-10% more than in 2015.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group from 50 and over have invested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
organization about 5-10% more than in 2000 year.

Statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that in 2000,
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people
over 35 to 49 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
gave more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to donate. This is the highest figure on the chart, while in 2015 the same group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gave 5-10 % less for donations. According to this information we can suppose the financial condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
decreased
slightly
.
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IELTS academic The chart below gives information on the percentage of Canadians gave money to charitable organisations by age range for years 2000 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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