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Divorce rate in Europen countries

Divorce rate in Europen countries bEq3B
Bar graph provides information about divorce rates two European countries during the period from 2011 to 2015. Overall, it is clear seen that Sweden experienced a downward trend, while Finland showed an upward trend throughout the period. Let's look at first Sweden's rate was about 45% in 2011 and then rose to almost 50% in 2012. However, the figure showed a gradual decline to roughly 47 % in 2013, and continued its downward trend more steadily to the end of the period, reaching around 45% in 2014 and hitting a low point of about 37% in 2015. In contrast, Percentage of divorces in Finland was less than 40% in 2011, before decreasing in 2012. Whereas, this number experienced a slight growth during the next two years which reached about 39 % in 2013 and then rose to around 3% again in 2014, but later remained steady for the next year, outracing the rate of Sweden.
Bar graph provides information about divorce rates two European countries during the period from 2011 to 2015.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that Sweden experienced a downward trend, while Finland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend throughout the period.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's look at
first
Sweden's rate was about 45% in 2011 and then rose to almost 50% in 2012.
However
, the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a gradual decline to roughly 47 % in 2013, and continued its downward trend more
steadily
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, reaching around 45% in 2014 and hitting a low point of about 37% in 2015.

In contrast
, Percentage of divorces in Finland was less than 40% in 2011,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decreasing in 2012. Whereas, this number experienced a slight growth during the
next
two years which reached about 39 % in 2013 and then rose to around 3% again in 2014,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later remained steady for the
next
year, outracing the rate of Sweden.

IELTS academic Divorce rate in Europen countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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