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The number of trips made by children

The number of trips made by children dqdW2
The chart gives you information on how children travelled to and from school in the years 1990 and 2010. The modes of transport were by car, walking, cycling, walking and by bus and by bus only. A striking feature in this chart is that the number of children who travelled by car has increased from 1990 to 2010. In 1990 the most number of trips per year by children were by walking. However in 2010 it reduced to up to 6 million trips per year. The total number of trips to school by cycling and walking and bus were approximately 6 million in 1990. However the number of trips to school by cycling reduced to 2 million and the number of trips to school by walking and bus reduced to about 3 million in 2010. There isn’t a significant change to the number of trips to school by bus. In 1990 it was about 7 million and in 2010 it came down to approximately 5 million. In 1990 the amount of children who travelled to and from school by car was significantly lower than the children who travelled by walking. In contrast in 2010 the number of children who travelled to school by car increased and the number of children walking to school has decreased. In 2010 children travelled to school by bus more than they cycled to school.
The chart gives you information on how
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children
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travelled
to and from
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school
in the years 1990 and 2010. The modes of transport were by
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car
, walking, cycling, walking and by bus and by bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

A striking feature in this chart is that the
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number
of
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
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travelled
by
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car
has

increased from 1990 to 2010. In 1990 the most
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number
of
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trips
per year by
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children
were by walking.
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However
in 2010 it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to up to 6
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million
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trips
per year. The total
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number
of
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trips
to
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school
by cycling and walking and bus were approximately 6
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million
in 1990.

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However
the
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number
of
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trips
to
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school
by cycling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 2
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million
and the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to
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school
by walking and bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to about 3
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million
in 2010. There isn’t a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by bus. In
The comma is probably missing here: "1990, it".
1990 it
was about 7
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million
and in 2010 it came down to approximately 5 million.

In 1990 the amount of
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children
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who
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travelled
to and from
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school
by
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car
was
significantly
lower than the
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by walking.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
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contrast
in 2010 the
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number
of
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
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travelled
to
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school
by
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car
increased and the
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number
of
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children
walking to
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school
has decreased.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
2010
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
to
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school
by bus more than they cycled to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS academic The number of trips made by children

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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