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Diagram on how to generate electricity

Diagram on how to generate electricity L3XMK
The diagram explains how to produce electricity from coal. First, the excavated raw coal is loaded by a conveyor to the section with a pulverizer. Then, this blended substance is given to the furnace, where it serves as a burning material. Next, the heat makes the air in the above-located pipes move faster. As far as the pipe system is closed, the actively moving air molecules put the turbine in motion. The surplus heat and the vapour after burning the coal are being thrown off through the chimney. Then, hot air, after giving a motion to the turbine, is freezing in the cooler before coming back to the furnace. After that, the moving potential from the turbine is transmitted to the generator. Next, the energy from the generator is carried to the transformer, which converts the moving energy into electricity. In the end, the electricity is streamed to the power lines by using the wires
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
how to produce electricity from coal.
First
, the excavated raw coal
is loaded
by a conveyor to the section with a pulverizer. Then, this blended substance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the furnace, where it serves as a burning material.
Next
, the heat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the air in the above-located pipes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
faster. As far as the pipe system
is closed
, the
actively
moving air molecules put the turbine in motion. The surplus heat and the
Possible spelling mistake. 'vapour' is British English.
vapour
after burning the coal are
being thrown
off through the chimney. Then, hot air, after giving a motion to the turbine, is freezing in the cooler
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming back to the furnace. After that, the moving potential from the turbine
is transmitted
to the generator.
Next
, the energy from the generator
is carried
to the transformer, which converts the moving energy into electricity. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, the electricity
is streamed
to the power lines by using the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
wires
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IELTS academic Diagram on how to generate electricity

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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