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The line graph illustrates the number of male and female gym membership from 1980 and 2010

The line graph illustrates the number of male and female gym membership from 1980 and 2010 L3Xe1
The line graph illustrates the number of male and female gym membership from 1980 and 2010. Overall, the trends of gym membership in both genders fluctuated over the period. In addition, the figure for men was higher than women in most of the time, apart from the 1990s and 2010s. In 1980, starting at over 2000, there was a significant increase in the number of men joining gym membership, reaching a peak of 4000 in 1985 before facing a sharp decline to around 1800 in 1995. After that, a substantial rise was witnessed in the figure of male gym membership, peaking at 5000 in 2005, but then fell dramatically to about 700 in 2010. On the other hand, in 1980, the number of female gym membership was 1000, and later grew gradually despite some fluctuation and climbed to a peak of nearly 3000 in the next 15 years. From 1995 to 2010, the figure of women underwent a volatile trend, ranging from over 2000 to roughly 3000 before dropping to under 2000 in 2010
The line graph illustrates the number of male and female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1980 to 2010"?
from 1980 and 2010
.

Overall
, the trends of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
in both genders fluctuated over the period.
In addition
, the figure for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was higher than women in most of the time, apart from the 1990s and 2010s.

In 1980, starting at over 2000, there was a significant increase in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
, reaching a peak of 4000 in 1985
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
facing a sharp decline to around 1800 in 1995. After that, a substantial rise
was witnessed
in the figure of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
, peaking at 5000 in 2005,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then fell
dramatically
to about 700 in 2010.

On the other hand
, in 1980, the number of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
was 1000, and later grew
gradually
despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation and climbed to a peak of
nearly
3000 in the
next
15 years. From 1995 to 2010, the figure of women underwent a volatile trend, ranging from over 2000 to roughly 3000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping to under 2000 in 2010

IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the number of male and female gym membership from 1980 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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