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Describle the amount of money

Describle the amount of money pJ5m2
The given table illustrates the amount of money which was invested in numerous goods in four various Asian nations in 2008. It can be clearly seen that while fast food and drinks were allocated the most by residents regardless of their nationalities, the expenditure on leisure activities and education was lowest in all countries. As can be seen from the table, China had 28. 91 percent of the spending on fast food and drinks, followed by Vietnam with the figure being significantly lower, at 15. 77 percent. In addition, the expenditure on shoes and watches in China was nearly triple that of Vietnam, with 16. 23 percent and 5. 4 percent respectively. Conversely, Vietnamese people expended on leisure activities and education about 2. 21 percent, compared to 3. 22 percent of Chinese ones. According to the table, Thailand and Japanese paid the largest amount of money for fast food and drinks, with 16. 36 percent and 18. 8 percent in turn. Moreover, citizens from Thailand and Japan used money for shoes and watches were nearly the same, with the figure for Thailand being 5. 93 percent higher than 5. 51 percent for Japanese. In contrast, leisure activities and education in Thailand were allocated 1% more than in Japan.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table illustrates the amount of money which
was invested
in numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in four various Asian nations in 2008.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and drinks
were allocated
the most by residents regardless of their nationalities, the expenditure on leisure activities and education was lowest in all countries.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table, China had 28. 91
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the spending on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and drinks, followed by Vietnam with the figure being
significantly
lower, at 15. 77
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
In addition
, the expenditure on shoes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
in China was
nearly
triple that of Vietnam, with 16. 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and 5. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.
Conversely
, Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
expended on leisure activities and education about 2. 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, compared to 3. 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of Chinese ones.

According to the table, Thailand and Japanese paid the largest amount of money for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and drinks, with 16. 36
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and 18. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in turn.
Moreover
, citizens from Thailand and Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
money for shoes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
were
nearly
the same, with the figure for Thailand being 5. 93
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
higher than 5. 51
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
for Japanese.
In contrast
, leisure activities and education in Thailand
were allocated
1% more than in Japan.
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IELTS academic Describle the amount of money

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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