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describe 2 maps about that and that

describe 2 maps about that and that Wq0YD
The two maps illustrate how the shopping center, located in the Happy Valley, changed over a 30 year period from 1982 to 2012. There was A considerable development of this place from a small trading area into a large one with a parking zone. Firstly, the most notable change is removing the lake located to the west of the shopping mall. The number of trees has decreased from 25 to 23. Also, the road to the entrance was taken out, there is a parking zone instead of it now. Secondly, the size of the mall has changed, there is a new zone of furniture retail, which occupies about one-sixth of the entire building. The food store has changed its place to the bottom right corner, now it is situated with themed restaurants, which in turn, brought about the relocation of sport and electronic stores from the right side to the top of the building. The coffee shop has been removed because now it is possible to have coffee in the restaurants. THE Entertaining area, toilets and the elevator are in the same places, however, the lobby area was taken out too.
The two maps illustrate how the shopping center, located in the Happy Valley,
changed
over a
30 year
period from 1982 to 2012.

There was A considerable development of this place from a
small
trading area into a large one with a parking zone.

Firstly
, the most notable
change
is removing the lake located to the west of the shopping mall. The number of trees has decreased from 25 to 23.
Also
, the road to the entrance
was taken
out, there is a parking zone
instead
of it
now
.

Secondly
, the size of the mall has
changed
, there is a new zone of furniture retail, which occupies about one-sixth of the entire building.

The food store has
changed
its place to the bottom right corner,
now
it
is situated
with themed restaurants, which in turn, brought about the relocation of sport and electronic stores from the right side to the top of the building. The coffee shop has
been removed
because
now
it is possible to have coffee in the restaurants. THE Entertaining area, toilets and the elevator are in the same places,
however
, the lobby area
was taken
out too.
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IELTS academic describe 2 maps about that and that

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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