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Daily intake of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed by a person in meals and snacks in the USA

Daily intake of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed by a person in meals and snacks in the USA yV8r
The above pie charts illustrate the average intake of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar by an average person in the USA in their daily meals and snacks. In the first chart of sodium, we see that 14% is consumed in both breakfast and snacks, 29% at lunch and 43% at dinner. The second chart of saturated fat states that 16% is consumed in breakfast, 26% at lunch, 21% in snacks and 37% at dinner. And the third chart of added sugar represents that 16% is taken in breakfast, 19% at lunch, 23% at dinner and 42% in snacks. If we compare sodium and saturated fat charts then these two are maximumly consumed at dinner which can be a bad effect on the person's body since dinner shouldn't have much sodium and fats. And coming to added sugar then it is maximum consumed in snacks which can be reduced because not always added sugars are good for health. Overall, at breakfast time, we see lesser percentage for all three. And also at lunch, sodium and saturated fat are bit high but added sugar is maintaining its level to 19% which is indeed bit better. Thus, the person should make sure to take all three in equal proportions at all times so that they can maintain good health. Also, make sure that all these three should be taken minimally at the time of snacks and mainly dinner since not much exercise is been done at that particular time.
The above pie
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charts
illustrate the average intake of sodium,
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saturated
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fat
and
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added
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sugar
by an average person in the USA in their daily meals and
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snacks
. In the
first
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chart
of sodium, we
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see
that 14% is
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consumed
in both
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breakfast
and
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snacks
, 29% at lunch and 43% at
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dinner
. The second
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chart
of
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saturated
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fat
states that 16% is
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consumed
in
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breakfast
, 26% at lunch, 21% in
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snacks
and 37% at
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dinner
. And the third
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chart
of
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added
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sugar
represents that 16%
is taken
in
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breakfast
, 19% at lunch, 23% at
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dinner
and 42% in
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snacks
. If we compare sodium and
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saturated
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fat
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charts
then these two are
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maximumly
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consumed
at
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dinner
which can be a
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bad
effect on the person's body since
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dinner
shouldn't have much sodium and
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fats
. And coming to
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added
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sugar
then it is maximum
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consumed
in
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snacks
which can be
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reduced
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because
not always
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added
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sugars
are
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good
for health.
Overall
, at
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breakfast
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time
, we
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see
lesser percentage for all three. And
also
at lunch, sodium and
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saturated
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fat
are bit high
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but
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added
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sugar
is maintaining its level to 19% which is
indeed
Consider using a past participle here: "bitten".
bit
better.
Thus
, the person should
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make
sure to take all three in equal proportions at all
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times
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so
that they can maintain
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good
health.
Also
,
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make
sure that all these three should
be taken
minimally
at the
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time
of
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snacks
and
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
since not much exercise
is been
done at that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.

IELTS academic Daily intake of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed by a person in meals and snacks in the USA

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
247 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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