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The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. PKxX
The graph illustrates the enrolment of overseas and Austrilian citizens for the university over a decade. Overall, there is a high trend in the local students compared to overseas students which shows the local students has deramatically increase in number from the year 2001- 2007 which is 400000 to 60000 students in total. Where as the overseas students has a rapid growth in the university enrolment from the year 2001 - 2010 the number of the students in 2001 is 200000 and 800000 which is a rapid growth in number in total. While in the begning, compared to local students the overseas students has a low start which is apporoximately 100000 students whereas the local students has a good number of students nearly 20000 and has variations overall gthe decade and lastly in the year it has a down fall from 210000 to 20000 students. The overseas students has a gradually incurease in number of students from the stating of the year 2001 to 2010 te students number is 40000. To conclude, in contrast the enrolment of oveseas has a low number than local Austrilian residents which has reached the top overall the decade.
The graph illustrates the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of
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overseas
and
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Austrilian
citizens for the university over a decade.

Overall
, there is a high trend in the
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local
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students
compared to
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overseas
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students
which
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shows
the
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local
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students
has
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deramatically
increase in
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number
from the
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year
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
2001- 2007
which is 400000 to 60000
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students
in total.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
the
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overseas
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students
has a rapid growth in the university
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
from the
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year
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
2001 - 2010
the
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number
of the
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students
in 2001 is 200000 and 800000 which is a rapid growth in
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number
in total.

While in the
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begning
, compared to
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local
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students
the
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overseas
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students
has a low
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start
which is
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apporoximately
100000
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students
whereas the
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local
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students
has a
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good
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number
of
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students
nearly
20000 and has variations
overall
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gthe
decade and
lastly
in the
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year
it has a down fall from 210000 to 20000
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students
. The
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overseas
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students
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
a
gradually
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incurease
in
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number
of
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students
from the stating of the
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year
2001 to 2010
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te
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students
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number
is 40000.

To conclude
,
in contrast
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
of
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oveseas
has a low
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number
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
Possible spelling mistake found.
Austrilian
residents which has reached the top
overall
the decade.

IELTS academic The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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