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Crimes in Greenvale and arrests made from 2010 to 2019

Crimes in Greenvale and arrests made from 2010 to 2019 0LpB
The two graphs illustrates the number of crimes that happened in Greenvale and adults and Juveniles arrests that were made from 2010 to 2019. Overall, the Adults who were arrested seemed to be decreasing over the time period, while there were more juveniles who were arrested over the same period. The occurence of Home Burglary and Car theft were decreasing and the number of Robbery were relatively constant. In 2010, the number of Home Burglary was the highest at 300. It reached the peak in 2011 at approximately 370 cases. However, the trend were decreasing after the following years and it reached its lowest number in 2019 where there were just under 250 occurence. Meanwhile, roughly 120 car theft happened in 2010 which is the hsecond most frequent crime in the city. Nevertheless, the occurence of this type of crime became less frequent until it hit the lowest point in 2019 where there were around 80 occurences. This made car theft the least frequent crime that occured in the city, as Robbery, which had a relatively stable trend, were ranked two with just under 100 cases. Adults accounted for around 320 arrests in 2010 while the number of Juvenile arrests were relatively lows, only at approximately 20 arrests. Despite the decreasing trend of arrests of Adults, it still had the highest number in 2019 where there were 200 arrests of Adult made that year.
The two graphs illustrates the
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number
of
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crimes
that happened in
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Greenvale
and
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adults
and Juveniles
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arrests
that
were made
from 2010 to 2019.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adults
who
were arrested
seemed to be
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decreasing
over the time period, while there were more juveniles who
were arrested
over the same period. The
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occurence
of Home Burglary and Car theft were
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decreasing
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Robbery were
relatively
constant.

In 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Home Burglary was the highest at 300. It reached the peak in 2011 at approximately 370 cases.
However
, the trend were
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decreasing
after the following years and it reached its lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in 2019 where there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 250
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occurence
. Meanwhile, roughly 120 car theft happened in 2010 which is the
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hsecond
most frequent
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crime
in the city.
Nevertheless
, the
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occurence
of this type of
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crime
became less frequent until it hit the lowest point in 2019 where there were around 80
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occurences
. This made car theft the least frequent
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crime
that
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occured
in the city, as Robbery, which had a
relatively
stable trend,
were ranked
two with
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just
under 100 cases.

Adults accounted for around 320
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arrests
in 2010 while the
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number
of Juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrests
were
relatively
lows,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at approximately 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrests
. Despite the
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decreasing
trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrests
of
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Adults
, it
still
had the highest
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number
in 2019 where there were 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrests
of Adult made that year.
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IELTS academic Crimes in Greenvale and arrests made from 2010 to 2019

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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