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consumption of fast food in the period between 1970 and 1990

consumption of fast food in the period between 1970 and 1990 5kplV
The line graph indicates how the consumption of fast food changed, measured in grams, in the period between 1970 and 1990. . It is clear from the graph that the quantities of hamburgers and pizza both increased considerably, especially hamburgers is the most dramatic change during the research period. Meanwhile, the consumption of fish and chips was slightly plunge. . In 1970, fish and chips was the most popular fast food with a consumption of around 300 grams. Meanwhile, the others owned a tiny numbers just under 100 grams. In 1975, while fish and chips, pizza had a gradual decrease and increase respectively, hamburgers leved off 100 grams. In the successive years, fish and chips had a moderate decline but hamburgers and pizza increased sharply. From 1985 to 1990, the mass of fish and chips with hamburgers registered at 200 grams- a lowest figure since fish and chips was studied. In the last year of the given period, fish and chips reached the highest point of about 550 grams and the others tend to rise constantly. However, the amount of pizza and hamburgers consumed also increased noticeably but another given food had a downward trend comparing with the begining.
The line graph indicates how the consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, measured in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, in the period between 1970 and 1990.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that the quantities of hamburgers and pizza both increased
considerably
,
especially
hamburgers is the most dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
during the research period. Meanwhile, the consumption of fish and chips was
slightly
plunge.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In 1970, fish and chips was the most popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food with a consumption of around 300
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grams
. Meanwhile, the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a tiny
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "number"?
numbers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 100
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grams
. In 1975, while fish and chips, pizza had a gradual decrease and increase
respectively
, hamburgers
Possible spelling mistake found.
leved
off 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. In the successive years, fish and chips had a moderate decline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hamburgers and pizza increased
sharply
. From 1985 to 1990, the mass of fish and chips with hamburgers registered at 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams-
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
lowest figure since fish and chips
was studied
. In the last year of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, fish and chips reached the highest point of about 550
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
and the others tend to rise
constantly
.
However
, the amount of pizza and hamburgers consumed
also
increased
noticeably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
food had a downward trend comparing with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
begining
.
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IELTS academic consumption of fast food in the period between 1970 and 1990

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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